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Oregon and Bay Area Mathsie Alert!

Hello my darlings!

If you are in Eugene or surrounding areas, and would like to see me before I vanish to the other hemisphere, I will be in your area on June 17-18 and would love to see you. I could use company at Murphy Hall, University of Oregon, and/or coffee near there, and company/moral support fighting the DMV on one of those days. The DMV, especially. I don't have much energy these days and struggle with writing, filling in forms, and coping with idiotic bureaucracy. Mostly, I'm available during business hours, since evenings are already booked.

If you are in Portland or surrounding areas, and would like to see me, I will be around potentially the evening of the 19th and definitely the morning/early afternoon of the 20th. Please bear in mind that I have to fit time in for my god-daughter and my father will be demanding my time on the evening of the 20th. I may also have for an early morning breakfast type-thing on Monday the 21st before I leave town, if Portland peeps have any spare time.

If you are in the Bay Area, I will be coming through there on the evening of the 21st and staying until sometime in the afternoon of the 22nd. If someone has sofa space or a Spare Oom I could crash in, I would be utterly beholden to you forever. Azzster, I have kitchen things for JD and Teshipants to drop off with you if I can't meet up with them in person.

Sooo, let me know in comments, or via email (nbelitz (at) gmail (dot) com), or via my mobile (541.968.5057 - SMS/texting OK, please sign with screenname/RL name) so I can try to figure this out and see who I need to meet up with. This will get cross-posted, so apologies in advance if you see it multiple times!

You did it!

In regards to this post, I just wanted to say, YOU DID IT! As of today's post, I am getting home. I want to thank each and every one of you for helping me, whether you donated, heightened awareness, sent love and support, or some combination or the above. I will never forget the kindness my friends (and some perfect strangers) showed when I was feeling that things were completely out-of-control.

I expect to start sorting out plans of wrapping things up in the States sometime in May, at which point I will start letting people know via my LJ when I will be in Eugene, Portland, and the Bay Area to say hellos and goodbyes and drink tea and drag people into assisting me with sorting through boxes of belongings (in Eugene at least).

All my love and gratitude,
EDIT: As of today's post, I am getting home! Thank you all, bless you all, for your generosity to help me in this situation. Words do not suffice how grateful I am to you all. I will never forget your kindnesses. *HUGS*

This is the situation. I am battling a number of chronic illnesses, including Crohn's disease with related arthritis, and recently the combination of arthritis, tendinitis, carpal tunnel syndrome, nerve damage, and a neurological issue in both arms and hands has rendered me incapable of using my hands/arms correctly. I am also battling migraines, neurological issues, and having general mobility issues. The general upshot of this is that I am disabled to the point of being unable to continue my studies for my MSc.

The little hitch is that I am currently studying in the USA, but am a German citizen. I have to get back to Germany in order to get back onto socialised medicine, as my medical insurance in the States is linked to being a student and will run out when I declare my non-attendance.

The big problem is that every penny I have has gone to paying my medical bills. The only reason why I've had groceries to eat, these last two years, is by the grace of friends' generosity. All my student loan monies (and my debt is great) have gone to medical bills. I am unable to get more student loans, as the US government is transitioning to a new system for September 2010 (thanks, Obama) and has frozen new loans until then. I talked to Financial Aid on Thursday, and they were very apologetic, but nothing can be done.

I need $600 to get home. Any little bit you can give will be appreciated and treasured. I promise to pay the debt forward; if I am in a situation to assist anyone in the future, I will. If you cannot assist monetarily, I still love and appreciate and treasure you, just for not dismissing me. Thank you all for standing by me and helping me remember that I am a person of value. You all have my permission to boost the signal far and wide.

My paypal is That email can also be used to contact me if you feel the need to for any reason. Comments can be left below, as well. I am disabling the usual requirements to comment, so anyone can comment, even without an LJ account.

All my love,


Ganked from slave_prince03. Thanks, darling!

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is as follows:

If you are reading this right now, please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your LJ and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.

Come on, my dears, post away. I eagerly await the twisted products of your imagination!


First of all, I want to say Thank You and I Love You to all of you. Your unwavering love and support helps me cope when things are rough, and reminds me how much I have to lose if I were to stop fighting. The Fishies on Twitter have also been an amazing help, as have Khas on chat and Thaniel on the phone. You're all so wonderful, and I am blessed to have you. *hugs and squishes and kisses*

It is almost half past one and my hips are starting to scream, but I am Accomplishing Things! Okay, true, so they're the little things that normal people can do without even thinking about them, but still. They count. I didn't get much sleep, and it wasn't very good sleep, but Nathaniel woke me at 9 knowing that I would sleep in if I weren't wakened, and though sleep is needed, sleeping past 9 robs me of that little burst of energy I can sometimes find before 11 am. Konark wanted to borrow the car today, so he came by to get the spare key, and as we both were not fully awake yet, we walked to Elysée and he treated to a latte and a croissant. This means that I had caffeine and something in my stomach by 10.30, and so far my body has not tried to toss it out. Yay!

Most of my physical spoons today have gone to cleaning my flat. I can't live in a dirty, untidy place; it saps my mental strength and makes me far more vulnerable to bad moods. I dusted and tidied (except for my desk/table, as end of term means papers everywhere and I shall tidy that after exams end), swept the kitchen and bathroom floors, wiped the bathroom down, wiped the kitchen down, and ran the dishwasher. I don't like to use the dishwasher, and I really don't like to run it more than half-empty, but doing that meant I did not burn all my energy on washing up, which was the intelligent choice to make. The bathroom didn't get a proper scrubbing, the floors have not been mopped, and the carpet desperately needs to be hoovered, but those things I can deal with. If the surface level is clean and tidy, it calms the desperate need to have a clean, orderly place, and this is all I can do with my energy levels as it is.

The laundry just went into the dryer, and so in half an hour I will haul it all back up and fold it and put it away and make my bed. Around that time the dishwasher should be done, so I can put the clean things away, and then all my physical tasks will be done for a while.

Assignment wise, the last problem set for differential geometry is 3/5 of the way done. The last question is completely done on scratch, so I just have to re-write it, and the fourth question I have sketched out via email thanks to Iris (who responded admirably to my miserable howl of frustration via email sent at 3 o'clock this morning). In other words, it is not unreasonable to expect that diff geom will be done by this evening.

I shall also endeavour to get as much of the last algebra problem set done as possible. Iris is doing her best as well, despite being ill (she got stomach flu from her boyfriend and I am just praying that I do not get it, because I run the risk of complications and I cannot afford to land in hospital again right now!), so that we can finish it in rough tomorrow, write it up tomorrow evening or Tuesday morning, and start working on the take-home final exam Tuesday.

My gut is acting up, of course, but I can deal with that. So I am off to pacify it a bit, and then to do diff geom until the dryers finish. Updates to come as the day continues. And while it is cool outside, and breezy, the sun is coming in and out of the clouds, and it feels nice and springtime-y.


Mar. 6th, 2010

Oof. Today, so far, has been an exercise in patience and not screaming, no matter how badly I want to. My energy levels and abilities were tapped out by the time I woke, showered, washed my hair, dried my hair, and dressed. This is highly frustrating, as I have many things I need to do, but I am Coping.

Tria and her mum are coming by this evening to take me out to dinner before they head back to SD. I am happy about this, though feeling slightly ashamed at the mess my flat is in. I wanted to get it a bit more orderly, but ... well, that's not happening. I feel guilty and embarrassed and frustrated with myself, despite knowing that it's rather out of my direct control.

Nausea has been hitting hard since I woke. I had water to combat the Vicodin's tendency to completely dehydrate my system, but my stomach is not pleased with that.

I am starting to figure out exactly what I would like, ideally, to be happy with my current limitations. Amusingly enough, I was joking with one of my friends on chat, saying that I'd be happiest in a household with two or three other people, because I just need to be the centre of the universe, within a local coordinate system defined on an open neighbourhood of me at least. Um, sorry for the maths joke. That was kind of tasteless, but hey, I think it's funny. If you know a bit of differential geometry, you'll get the joke too. ;)

And now I am going to go lie down and rest so I have the energy to be ridiculous with Tria and scandalise her mum in public. :D Ta!

Praise me! Be proud of me! I ate!

This is one of my newest tricks for getting around my body's newest list of things it refuses to digest, courtesy of the Crohn's, natch. Essentially, cottage cheese gets melted down with Parmesan into a sauce that quite reasonably mimics a standard cream sauce. My version, however, is less work, cheaper to procure all the ingredients for, and contains a heck of a lot of protein rather than a heck of a lot of fat.

Spaghetti with "Cream" Sauce (approved by Nora's stomach)

- 170 grams (6 ounces) spaghetti, uncooked
- 225 grams (1 cup) cottage cheese
- 1 egg yolk
- 50 g (1/2 cup lightly packed) Parmesan, grated

Cook the spaghetti in salted water one minute less than normal for al dente (8 minutes for mine).

While the spaghetti is cooking, mix the cottage cheese, egg yolk, and Parmesan in a bowl. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Reserve approximately 60 ml (1/4 cup) of the cooking water at the end of the cooking time, before draining the spaghetti. Let it sit in the colander in the sink.

Place the reserved spaghetti water in a saucepan and turn the gas to medium-high. Let it boil until it has reduced in volume by just barely half (call it sooner rather than later, if you're unsure). Whisk in the cheese mixture, turning the gas to medium-low to avoid cooking the egg. Continue stirring until the cheese melts. (This can take a while. I just let it blubble away, stirring regularly to keep things from burning, while singing along to My Chemical Romance.)

Turn off the heat, add the pasta, and toss to coat properly. Let cool slightly for sauce to thicken, and serve with a little bit of Parmesan on top, if you like.

Serves 2-3 Noras (so 2 normal people, or 1 Nathaniel).

Fanfic PSA

This is just to say, my first fanfic open to the public has been posted! You can find it at the HP Kinkfest here. Please note that this is a KINK fest; minors should not click (Ev - this means you!), and you, the reader, are responsible for noting the warnings and rating before reading. I hold no responsibility for outcomes caused by people ignoring the header. ;)

Seven Random Facts

Ganked shamelessly from felisdemens and frieleigh. Standard meme rules in this journal apply: I shan't tag people, and you are more than welcome to gank and do it yourself. :D

  1. I love the taste of coffee, tea (black and herbal), schorles, cocktails, most alcohols, wine, and some beers, but I hate to drink any kind of fluid. It takes a lot of work for me to get two glasses of liquid into my body a day, let alone the ridiculous number my doctors recommend.

  2. I cannot live without music. I turn on German radio (SWR3), iTunes, YouTube, Grooveshark, Pandora, or my iPod as soon as I get up. I do not leave the house without my iPod. I generally have music on to sleep. Also, homework does not get done unless I am listening to music with headphones. No music, or music on speakers, will distract me from my focus beyond belief. I blame the ADD.

  3. Despite having memorised the majority of the information in the Harry Potter books, and being a firm believer in canon (no films for this nerd, thank you!), I have not read a HP book in English in a few years. I exclusively read HP fanfic, generally within a pretty limited set of pairings. Oddly enough, I find these stories more 'real' than the books at times.

  4. When I was a child, I bit my nails to the quick and beyond. They would routinely bleed and leave me almost incapable of using my fingertips from pain. I successfully kicked the nail-biting habit in my very late teens, only to start biting my cuticles. I've considered kicking that habit, but I'm more than a little afraid to find out what my oral fixation would move to (we've already done the chewing up the inside of the mouth and the biting hair until it becomes brittle and breaks habits). Considering that bitten cuticles hurt less, impact daily life less, and are less noticeable than bitten nails, I'll stick to this compulsion for now.

  5. I get annoyed rather quickly, forgive just as quickly, am slow to truly anger, have difficulty holding grudges, but will cut people out of my life if absolutely necessary for my own sanity (after giving about a million chances). Once cut, they really have no chance of getting back in. Ever.

  6. My friends range in age from 13 to late 50s, early 60s. This is nothing new. My parents always commented that my friends tended to run between fifteen years my junior and forty years my senior. I hope it never changes. I love having friends all over the Map of Life.

  7. You can ask me any question, no matter how personal, and I won't get offended. I do, however, reserve the right to tell you it's none of your business and leave it at that.


Happy St Valentine's Day!

Just wanting to make sure I wished all of you a very happy St Valentine's Day. Words are rather inadequate to express how much you all mean to me, and how grateful I am to have you in my life. I hope you all have a blessed day with minimal stress and much love and happiness.

All my love and kisses from LA to each and every one of you!

Jan. 25th, 2010

Because some memes really should be propagated...

No promises on if I'll be able to put into words how awesome everyone is., I will try. Yes, indeed.

Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one reason why I like you. Then re-post this and spread the love!


Jan. 9th, 2010

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.


Christmas card update

My darlings, I will send out Christmas cards this year, but they will be coming late. Late, as in, New Year's cards late, I'm afraid. I'm really terribly sorry. It's just that with the mess of finals week and landing in hospital, and still being in tons of pain and groggy from medications and stressed over visiting Oregon, it's not happening right now. I'll do my best to write them over the next week or so, and I apologise a million times and beg for your forgiveness.

Seven and down are just too good. :)

On the twelfth day of Christmas, mathnerd sent to me...
Twelve ampersands drumming
Eleven chiasluts piping
Ten techsteps a-leaping
Nine friends dancing
Eight maths a-cooking
Seven cats a-singing
Six hobbits a-reading
Five bo-o-o-ooks
Four sherlock holmes
Three alexandre dumas
Two douglas adams
...and a sandman in a hitchhiker's guide tothe galaxy.
Get your own Twelve Days:

Yeah, don't think I was too successful this year. ;)
In 2009, mathnerd resolved to...
Overcome my secret fear of cats.
Cut down to ten friends a day.
Apply for a new sandman.
Give some sherlock holmes to charity.
Volunteer to spend time with alexandre dumas.
Cut down on my singing.
Get your own New Year's Resolutions:


Brain Dump

Hey, you! Yes, you. If you haven't done so already, I need your address to send a Christmas card to. Go here and leave your name and address in a screened comment. I want to get international cards out Friday and domestic cards out weekend after this one, so the more addresses I get now, the less panic I have, and the more likely you are to get your card before Christmas. :D


The rest of this entry is mostly a brain dump for me, so I remember what I need to do over the next few days.

- eat dinner
- watch Top Chef at 7 pm
- write out Analysis homework 5
- write out the half of Analysis homework 6 I have

- write Christmas cards for international addresses
- do book problems for Diff Top homeworks 3, 4, and 5
- work on non-book problems for Diff Top homeworks 3, 4, and 5
- write out book problems for Diff Top homeworks 3, 4, and 5

- mail international Christmas cards
- hand in Algebra homework 9 (already done)
- order medication refills online
- get assistance with non-book problems for Diff Top homeworks 3, 4, and 5
- write out non-book problems for Diff Top homeworks 4 and 5
- turn in Diff Top homeworks 4 and 5
- Monk show finale 6/9 pm
- write out second half of Analysis homework 6
- eat and sleep somewhere in there

- finish Diff Top homework 3
- write out Diff Top homework 3
- work on domestic Christmas cards
- draw up a study schedule
- study my arse off for finals

- hand in Diff Top homework 3
- study my arse off for finals

- study my arse off for finals

- Diff Top final 8 am
- Algebra final 3 pm
- pick up medications

- study my arse off for finals

- hand in Analysis homework 6
- Analysis final 8 am
- remember Humira injection

Have a Very Zombie Christmas

Ladies, Gentlemen, Honourable Herms, and Everyone Else:

it is Christmas card time! Leave your address in a screened comment below, and receive a card from me with all my love and greetings (and messy handwriting).

MarmFish, if you do not respond, I will hunt you down on the Perpetual Chat and cause you Grievous Bodily Harm.

Lots of love and excitement of the Feast of Christ the King (aka Advent starts next Sunday),

Nov. 3rd, 2009

If I were searching for proof that I'm still quite ill, I would have it. I got up this morning about 8, running on about 6,5 hours of sleep. I managed to shower, wash my hair, eat some breakfast, do all my topology re-copying, caught up with Iris per telephone, ate lunch, and did dishes. At 1.30 I lay down for an hour because I was feeling tired. I got up at 4.

That's right, lying down for an hour morphed into 2,5 hours of being curled up in bed under a warm blanket before my brain could process the concept of 'waking up'.

God, I'm so exhausted. And so cold.

Ooooh, when I lay down, it was your typical bright sunshine and annoying blue sky. Upon awakening and opening the blinds, I found November had come. It's grey and foggy out, and looking wonderful. Welcome, November, old friend. I've missed you!

In other words, I'm doing NaNoWriMo for the first time ever. We'll see if it goes anywhere.


This just gets better and better...

I just managed to drop my last egg on the ground. No dinner for me tonight. *sighs*

Music Meme

Ganked from bychoice. :)

Open up your music management software and fill out this survey, no matter how embarrassing the responses might be.


How many songs total: 4203
How many hours or days of music: 11,7 days
Most recently played: The Doors - Take It As It Comes
Most played: !!! - Take Ecstasy With Me
Most recently added: Megadeth - Ashes In Your Mouth

Sort by song title
First song: Dynamite Deluxe - Ab und Zu
Last song: Raunchy - 9-5

Sort by time
Shortest song: Marilyn Manson - Bonus Track (0:04)
Longest song: Arvo Pärt - Miserere (34:45)

Sort by album
First album: And Oceans - A.M. G.O.D.: Allotropic/Metamorphic Genesis of Dismorphism
Last album: !!! - !!!

First song that comes up on shuffle: Holly Golightly - Waiting Room

Search the following and state how many songs come up
Death: 64
Life: 95
Love: 159
Hate: 24
You: 313
Sex: 3


Brief Update, New Layout, and Meme

I need a break from linear algebra revision. I've gotten everything done except for canonical forms which are not easy, and I never learned before. Trying to teach oneself new, difficult material in an hour or two at a level of proficiency required by the Big Exam is madness, to say the least. Why didn't I start earlier this summer? Oh, that's right, I don't bother caring until it's too late. Or as Calvin puts it: "I'm waiting for inspiration, i.e. Last Minute Panic". Someday I shall master this vice and replace it with another one. Someday. :P

The goal for today is to finish linear algebra and shove through topology. That leaves calculus, multi-variate, and the tail-end of analysis (not much that isn't covered in the prior three sections) for the weekend. I also need to run to the shops for olive oil (almost out), fruit, and a few other small things to keep me functioning and focussed through Thursday. Other than that, barring garlic, onions, and random grocery items needed to survive, I hope to eat through my cupboards, refrigerator, and freezer for the next few weeks. See how long I can postpone a proper grocery run.

I updated my journal layout. God only knows why, but I was in the mood for Christmas-themed décor in here, and so it's up until I get sick of it. Anyone want to bet if it will last through the Christmas hols?

Focus is not easily come by around here. In less pain than I was in prior posts, still in more than I'd like, but that's what I get to deal with these days. I have a random bruise just above my right elbow on the outer (back) arm. I have no idea where it came from.

And now, before I go back to canonical forms, I give you the standard association meme, this time from feywood.

Cut for Your Browsing PleasureCollapse )

Aaaaaand, back to work. Ta, lovelies!


And it tasted so good!

Super Tasty Polenta by Nora

- Precooked polenta (organic from TJ's)
- 1 cup pasta sauce (organic roasted garlic WF store-brand)
- 1/2 cup (approximately) precooked ground beef, thawed
- 3 cm slice from the chevre log
- Parmesan, grated

Preheat oven to 350°F and oil a baking pan.

Slice the polenta and lay it in the baking pan. Combine pasta sauce and ground beef and spoon over polenta. Top each slice of polenta with a chunk of chevre. Sprinkle Parmesan over the tops.

Bake for 20 minutes, or until chevre is slightly brown and sauce is bubbling.

Serves 2 Noras (YMMV).
As the famous weary provost's call, this is a warning that this is a Non-Entry.

Modified from "10 Healthy Poor Man"s Foods", Los Angeles Examiner OnlineCollapse )

In case you were wondering, yes, I'm scarily broke again. I'll probably be living off of these kinds of things rather soon, once I hit the end of my current food supply. (I should make it to October - hold your thumbs!)



First: If you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own LJ and replace any question that you dislike with a new, original question.

Second: Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.

Tagging: azurelunatic, empresstria, eternal_vows, ellixis, captdeaf, jokergirl, solarpowerspork, tears_of_nienna

If any of you have already done this, please ignore.

Tagged by: azinazelle

What is the make and model of your car?
2002 Hyundai Accent GS.

Have you ever lied to a teacher to get out of a deadline?
Errrr, yes. Let us leave it at that.

Which genres of fiction do you read?
Right now, mostly sci-fi, cyber-punk, alternate universe, some fantasy.

What is your occupation?
Graduate student on a pittance. ;)

What is really creepy?
People who know your name and seem to know *you*, when you're convinced there's no way you could know them at all.

Who is your celebrity crush?
Cillian Murphy (as Dr. Crane) and Fran Kranz (as Topher).

What is your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
Books: The Demon's Lexicon, the Vorkosigan Saga.
Telly programmes: Psych, Dollhouse.

What are you listening to right now?
Traffic outside my window and TMBG in my head.

What are you most excited for?
Start of term, feeling semi-well again.

Which websites do you always visit when you go online?
Gmail, LiveJournal, MarmFish chat,, ThinkGeek.

What was the last thing you bought?
Groceries. And coffee. :P

Which season is your favourite?

Does the weather affect your mood?
Yes, but not necessarily logically or consistently.

What is your zodiac sign?

Do you want to learn another language?
I want to learn French and Italian and Arabic and Hebrew, if I have the time.

What are five things, not people, you can't live without?
My laptop, the WWW, books, cats, and chocolate.

What is the last thing you ate?
Buttered toast with Seville Orange Marmalade (imported).

What is something you would like to say to someone right now?
Have some faith, it will all work out. You are not a failure in any respect of the word, and I know you can do it.

Do you have to pee?
No. I'm good.

Say something to the person who tagged you:
You're awesome and I love squeeing over Cillian Murphy with you! *hugs*

Ganked from azinazelle


[quote="VenomTheEvil"]Simple two words slash wars. Ruined 3 of my forums in the past.

Screw it if you want I will get rid of this section. I dont want anymore bad vibes.[/quote]

Okay, let's get a few things straight here. First off, het wars ruined two of the best HP forums on the net. People were ending years-long friendships over the Hermione/Harry versus Hermione/Ron debate, _despite_ canon and Jo's strong comments about it.

Secondly, it is immature and childish behaviour to abuse admin powers to fulfill a personal grudge.

Thirdly, offering/threatening to delete a section because we dare to voice our opinions as fellow equal fans who wish to not exclude canon ideas? Highly Not Cool.

Please do reconsider your attitude. If you wish to avoid slash wars, then stick to no adult content, no slash, no het. This kind of random bias against relationship preferences is disturbing at best. The world is fighting to reduce prejudices and protect all sorts of persons, and you wish to exclude Jamie dreaming of kissing a guy because slash wars "ruined" past forums for you?

EDIT: Because you so rudely deleted your thread before I could reply, I'm putting this in my LJ anyway. Your childish actions will not be hidden so easily.


(harry potter) hermione
the nerd with whom everyone falls in love

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June 2010


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